Celty Sturluson

[Anonymous1]

Name:Celty Sturluson
Gender:Female
Age:Unknown
Height:174cm (with helmet)
Weight:Unknown

Appearance:

Personality: Ill sum it up as this. She can be very quiet when doing her job. (She actually doesn't speak to begin with) But using her PDA, she will answer any questions people ask of her. She loves helping people, even when people like Izaya (who gives her work to do) ruins people's lives on a daily basis.

Likes: Shinra, helping people. Being a transporter, chatting online(mostly Dollars chatroom), watching DVD's and recording shows on the tv.

Dislikes:Cops, Aliens, hating the fact she can't find her head, otherwise shes afraid she can die any moment.

Strengths:Her motorcycle is actually a horse in disguise, which she has named "Shooter." She has no heart and perceives via unknown sensors that are not located on the head. The physical strength she possesses is above human, though not quite on par with Shizuo Heiwajima and Simon Berzhnev. She is also capable of manipulating a shadow-like, durable substance to form objects ranging from gloves to chariots at her will.

She can't die in her current forum (Unless her head is destroyed possibly). Her wounds would be closed quickly, example if she was stabbed (like from the Slasher) and will heal quickly. She can feel pain, but not as much as regular humans, due to her inner organs nerves and everything not "working" of as Shinra's dad would say, her inners are on a "pause" mode

Weaknesses: Fears of Aliens and Cops. Her head could be destroyed any time and will be killed. Can't talk and uses her PDA/or Computer to talk.(Which takes a few seconds delay to respond to people) Can't remember anything beyond the 20 years shes been around in Japan.

Head-Canon Notes:Her online chat screen name is "Setton. Shes getting close with her roommate (Shizuo) more every day. One of her closest friends is Shizuo and probably looks up to him as a brother almost, since they always hang around, and fight together on a normal occasion.

History: Also known as "The Black Biker" or "The Headless Rider," she is a Dullahan from Ireland who came to Japan looking for her stolen head. Her motorcycle is actually a horse in disguise. She has no heart and perceives via unknown sensors that are not located on the head. The physical strength she possesses is above human, though not quite on par with Shizuo Heiwajima. She is also capable of manipulating a shadow-like, durable substance to form objects ranging from gloves to chariots at her will.

Celty lives with Shinra Kishitani, and the two are romantically involved. She works as an underground courier. She wears a helmet when she goes out and communicates via a PDA. She enjoys online chatting, television and DVDs. She is one of the minority who knows the creator of the Dollars and that Anri is in control of Saika. Over the course of the series, her relationship with Shinra intensifies; eventually, she says that she is in love with Shinra. She has a habit of punching Shinra in the stomach whenever he talks about his love for her. She tends to get mad when Shinra says she does not need her head. Despite being a supernatural creature, she is afraid of extraterrestrials and has developed a fear of traffic officers as they started pursuing her frequently. Her biggest fear, however, is that if her head is destroyed, the same may happen to her. She is a member of Dollars. Her online chat screenname is "Setton"

Roleplay Sample:
Celty has been going through the past 20 years of looking for her head. A journey that taken her all over the place, and yet... still nothing. Riding around the city at midnight, there was nothing to do... no work was called in for her. Something that normally ever happens, but yet it did happen. Should she return home? Probably... and maybe that is what she will do.

Moments later, Celty appeared back home, still wearing her famous yellow helmet. She past Shinra's room, and not even sure if he is around at the moment. Walking to the kitchen, she sat down and placed her laptop on the table and quickly turned the power on. Sitting in a chair, she took a quick time in entering online chat called the Dollars, and seeing what people are saying about what has happened in the city lately. When someone posted "3 people were caught dead in an ally way" Celty paniced

"hmmm.." Standing up, she quickly closed her laptop and headed out of the house and back into the streets. Riding herself down town, she quickly stumbled into an ally way, hearing screams down it, and wondering if someone was in trouble near by. Quickly riding into the dark Ally, Celty looked around, but heard nothing anymore. Its as if whoever screamed, vanished. Quickly popping a wheelie, Celty road out of the ally way and headed back home.

Favourite Pairing:Celty x Shinra

Did you read the rules?:Yup! And don't worry, NO MARY SUES (I always liked that word for some reason @_@

[Anonymous1]

PS: this is my first time ever rping on a forum. I really hope its good @_@ I been on other roleplaying sites but nothing like this.

[Lin Yamada]

All right, so I am not the one that approves bios, however there are a few things I'd like to point out that you could fix in your application.

The personality is lacking in that we learn almost nothing about Celty. This may be because you thought the history would explain her a bit more however for the sake of spoilers canon characters do not need a history and therefore need more detailed personalities (See Izaya's application for examples).

I'd also like to point out that you have plagiarized the strengths and history off of Wikipedia. This is not acceptable conduct.

Also, any interaction beyond recognizing another character should be discussed with the person who is playing that character (in this case, please talk to our co-admin who plays Shizuo).

Please pay attention to grammar and spelling. Our admin has posted a lovely thread which helps with all kinds of grammar.

On a final note, please re-read the rules so that you may answer the final question correctly.

[Anonymous1]

Alrighty ill try and revise this then.

[Shizuo // Kururi]

Your friendly neighborhood Shizuo here with the weekly review! o: On today's list is the Cely application!

So, I'll jump right in and leave the generalizations for the end of the review.

Ill sum it up as this. She can be very quiet when doing her job. (She actually doesn't speak to begin with) But using her PDA, she will answer any questions people ask of her. She loves helping people, even when people like Izaya (who gives her work to do) ruins people's lives on a daily basis.

Alright. First, you seem to have trouble with contractions. 'Ill' would be read as 'sickness', as opposed to 'I'll', which is 'I will'. However, that first sentence is out of place, I'm afraid. Your verb tenses need some work ('people like Izaya ruins' should be 'people like Izaya ruin', etc), and the entire personality, like Lin said, is very short, and doesn't actually tell us anything concrete about Celty's personality. I'd like to see this expanded on... a lot. Give us details, examples, etc.

Likes: Shinra, helping people. Being a transporter, chatting online(mostly Dollars chatroom), watching DVD's and recording shows on the tv.
Dislikes:Cops, Aliens, hating the fact she can't find her head, otherwise shes afraid she can die any moment.

While I like that you give a bit of detail for one of the likes and one of the dislikes, you do it in a way that's a bit hard to understand. See Izaya or Shizuo's profiles for examples of likes and dislikes, or even Kururi's or Lin's. It helps if you're clear and concise, instead of being vague. Also, 'hating the fact she can't find her head' wouldn't be a dislike, but 'being unable to find her head' would.

Strengths:Her motorcycle is actually a horse in disguise, which she has named "Shooter." She has no heart and perceives via unknown sensors that are not located on the head.

These aren't really things that would be considered strengths. They're just facts of her existence.

Her head could be destroyed any time and will be killed. Can't talk and uses her PDA/or Computer to talk.(Which takes a few seconds delay to respond to people)

The first sentence is missing a personal pronoun- 'Her head could be destroyed any time and she could be killed.' In addition, when you add something in Parentheses, it's best to add it before the end of the sentence that you're clarifying- IE, before the period.

Her online chat screen name is "Setton. Shes getting close with her roommate (Shizuo) more every day. One of her closest friends is Shizuo and probably looks up to him as a brother almost, since they always hang around, and fight together on a normal occasion.

First off, the idea that her online screenname is 'Setton' is canon, and therefore not headcanon. Next, we've had this issue with other members before, but like Lin said, if you're deciding to break canon or alter it and that involves another character, you need their player's consent. In canon, Shizuo and Celty are not roommates, nor did Shizuo's player (me) okay that.

History

Canon characters do not need histories, as Lin said, as there are too many spoilers for other members in said histories.

Roleplay Sample

Your entire sample seems too quickly thrown together, with not enough attention paid to the details, the spelling, or the grammar. You switch erratically between tenses (present, past, present), and you jammed a lot of content into three paragraphs that could have been more comfortably fit into four or five.

Did you read the rules?:Yup! And don't worry, NO MARY SUES (I always liked that word for some reason @_@

As Lin said (I seem to be saying this a lot, which means Lin's doing a pretty good job with that advice ;3), please reread the rules more carefully, as you missed something pretty vital, and your response to this question makes it seem like you didn't read the rules at all.

All in all, pay more attention to your verb tenses and spelling. Focus more on the details than the generalizations. In terms of aesthetics (that is, what looks good), I would suggest spaces between your colons and the words following (IE; Name: Celty Sturluson, as opposed to Name:Celty Sturluson), and I would also suggest not making the entire profile bold, as that makes it difficult to read.

[Shizuo // Kururi]

I'm sorry, your reservation for this character has run out of time. If you would like to reapply for the reservation and for the character, you must wait five days, and then you may re-reserve assuming no one else has. Until then your profile will be locked.